Worst. Day. EVER.

So yesterday was the absolute worst day. I can honestly say it was also the hardest day of my life. I have never been as sick as I was yesterday. Not even with my last pregnancy. I woke up, and spent the remainder of my day in the bathroom, lying in the hall/couch/bed, and trying to keep food and water down. No luck. Every single thing that went in my mouth came back up. I couldn't even keep small sips of water or ice chips down. It was miserable. I felt so helpless. The hardest part by far was having to keep Charlotte entertained and fed and changed. She was such a good girl for me though. She basically watched Blue's Clue's all day long. There was one point when I was lying down in the hall and she dragged over my big quilt for me. It made me bawl my eyes out. I have such a sweet little girl. I love her so much. George of course worked all day long. My DR was able to get me a new prescription that is only $5 so I was waiting for him to come home and get our money so he could get that medicine for me. Unfortunately he didn't get home until 9 and they close at 9. Again, I bawled my eyes out. Luckily, I remembered that I had some Dramamine in the car for car trips and it's safe to take that when you're pregnant. So, I took some, threw up again, then basically passed out. I was so exhausted. I kept waking up last night with stomach pains. I know it was just because they were so sore from heaving so much. So far this morning, I feel really OK. I've been able to keep down half a glass of watered down ginger ale, so hopefully after I get my meds today, it will be a much better day. Crossing my fingers. In the end, I am so glad it is today and that yesterday is over. I am grateful for a flexible baby girl that goes with the flow when mommy isn't well. I am grateful for a sweet husband that went to multiple stores last night to find ginger ale with actual ginger in it. I am so grateful that despite our financial tightness right now, we have exactly enough change for my medicine, milk and my ginger ale. We are truly blessed :)

This is for real

So, because I have Charlotte running all over the place all day, my mind rarely even is thinking about being pregnant. It really is on my mind first thing in the morning, then later at night. I've gotten some Zofran to help with being so sick and it's working (more or less) so, I just don't think about it all too much. Because of that, situations like yesterday really frustrate me. Here's what happened. It's happened for the past 2 weeks now. On Wed morning I take my medicine and feel good. Thurs I'm still feeling good so I don't take anything at all, so by Fri I get hit by the nausea/vomiting Mac truck. Not OK. After I threw up yesterday, I was so upset. Sometimes the reality of how LONG this process is just hits me hard, and it's overwhelming. I only have 6 more months, but it seriously is feeling like an eternity right now. I hate when my emotions get out of control and I lose it like I did yesterday. Crying and blubbering. Not attractive, that's for sure! I am so grateful for my sweet husband. He is so loving and patient with my emotional breakdowns.

Bad day :(

Yesterday was a really rough day. I woke up pretty sick and while I was throwing up, completely lost it (emotionally). George was headed out the door for work and I just got overwhelmed. I was so sick and still had to care for sweet Charlotte. I admit, I've been a bit of a slug of a mom lately. I just don't have as much energy and honestly, she's at an awkward age and I don't know how to entertain her inside. I can take her outside to the park or for a walk and that entertains her forever, but when it comes to inside stuff, I have no clue. ANYWAY, so I cried a bit after getting sick and tried to stomach some food. The rest of the day I stayed in my jammies and just laid around. George got off work at 5:30ish and needed his hair cut really bad. He's been begging me for almost 2 weeks now :( so I told him we were going to do it then before his class. After his haircut, Charlotte started whining really bad. I know it's because she was so bored from watching TV basically all day and just wanted a little more attention, but it sent me over the edge. Again, I lost it. Here George was going to be home for all of half an hour and was going to leave AGAIN for class for 3 hours. He went in our room to shower, or so I thought. He came out and put Charlotte's shoes on and said they were going to the park for a while and told me to just relax. Then I felt really bad. I really wasn't trying to get him to stay home, it had just been a bad day! He said to stop worrying and that there was really no point in going to class today, because she wasn't even there and the class would be shortened anyway. So he left with Charlotte for an hour!! It was so nice. I cleaned up the house, vacuumed (for the first time in probably, 2 weeks, so gross), took a bath and just relaxed. It was so nice. He came home and I started feeling sick again and of course, threw up... again. TMI- George is so nice when I'm sick. He comes in when I start really throwing up, rubs my back and holds back my hair, flushes the toilet when I'm done and just slips out before I even stand up again. He knows that I hate how I look and everything after, so he lets me just have a minute. But I totally appreciate him caring for me so much. I love him so much. I love Charlotte too, I just need a little more energy and patience. Today was an OK day. I was sick this morning, but got it together by mid morning. We went out for a walk as a family and that really helped me feel better. After lunch, I took a nap and didn't wake up sick!! I've been nauseous off and on the rest of the afternoon, but I'm better than yesterday. Hoping tomorrow is good.

The WHOLE fam damly

Well, my whole family is up at the cabin for a reunion type thing with the Gardener's. I was so sad when I heard that Tara and Tyson were going too. I miss MY family like crazy. Anyway, my dad sent me a random email and after my FB account was hacked and his random email, I was concerned and called the cabin. They just wanted to Skype, but after talking with him and hearing how happy he was and obviously how happy everyone was there, I thought that was the perfect time to make the announcement to them. They were all SO excited! haha! Dad yelled, "BECCA'S PREGNANT!!" to the whole cabin and everyone just started yelling and hollering. It made me feel so happy and loved. Tara immediately started crying (hormonal and pregnant also) so I got on the phone with her. She's so sweet. She knew we were concerned and worried that it was taking longer to get pregnant, so she was just really relieved that I am pregnant now. That also made me feel good, that she was so worried about me. Logan is super excited. He already is hoping it's another girl. He said it's way more fun being an uncle to a girl! Because they're so much cuter than boys :) I talked to my mom as well and she's super happy and excited too. She asked how I was feeling and made sure I was OK. It was nice. I'm glad I timed this well and told them while they were all together and happy. I am so excited to be pregnant at the same time as Tara too. It'll be fun to have babies the same age :)
Pregnancy stuff: This morning was really rough. Because I ate so much yesterday at Olive Garden, I was sick all morning. While I was out driving later, it came back and I had to basically hypnotize myself into NOT getting sick. I'm learning how to talk myself through it and most times I can do it. That's about it. Tomorrow we'll tell the rest of George's family. But we'll wait to tell everyone else until next month.

sick

Blah. Yesterday we went to Olive Garden for lunch and I ate way too much. So I'm sick. Blah.
My appointment went pretty well. I had an ultrasound and that was so fun to see our little bean :) He's got a good little heartbeat and was movin' around a lot! (And yes, I called it a "he", that's the gender today) I really REALLY like my dr. She is bubbly and friendly, just a really sweet woman. She has 4 kids but she looks so young! I thought maybe mid 30's... but who knows? Well, that's about it for now.

BAH!

Today is going to be a long day. My annoying neighbor is pregnant and eating it up. She totally takes advantage of me and my time. And I don't know how to say no. So I guess I do it to myself. She is going to the hospital yet again. She gets sick and doesn't take care of herself and goes days without eating or drinking and then ends up in the hospital. Funny thing about this time around is that her husband is just dropping her off at the hospital this time. Not even staying with her, kind of like he's just as annoyed as everyone. I secretly hope she gets there and they're like, "Sorry, you're fine. Here's some drugs, go home and eat a sandwich." Would they do that if she wasn't sick enough? I would guess so, they can't keep their hospital rooms booked with non-dying patients, right. GRR. Anyway, the reason I am so annoyed is I am stuck with her daughter ALL. DAY. AGAIN. Luckily I have her carseat so I can still run my errands and such, but it just throws off my whole day. I've decided I officially hate babysitting. I do not do well with other people's kids. The neighbors are moving out of state at the end of the month, so hopefully this will be the last time. I honestly can't wait for them to move. I'm rude. I know. 

Pregnancy stuff: I haven't felt sick at all for the past 2 days. It's awesome. I love it. But the worrier in me is also concerned that I haven't felt sick. I'm going to be done with prenatals for a while. Today I'm going to buy some gummy vitamins. Actually, I'm going to go now. I need a diet coke and pizza from Sam's. SEE YA!

Good Sunday

Yesterday was an amazing day. It really was the spiritual rejuvenation that I needed. We had Stake Conference and it was so nice to listen to a bunch of talks focused on US. One thing that really stuck out to me that I found weird was that there were at least 2 or 3 talks focused solely on telling members it is NOT ok to NOT go to stake conference and listen to general conference. Apparently there are a LOT of members in our stake that look at those weekends as a day off from church. WOW. George and I are totally on the same page with this issue. No matter what, every Sunday we will be at church. Even if we're on vacation or on of us is sick. At least one of us will be there every week no matter what. After church we had the missionaries over for dinner. They brought this awesome video called "Journey of Faith" where archaeologists and scholars have gone and studied out and found actual proof of where Lehi and his family traveled through Arabia. There is this one point in the video where they show a satellite shot of Arabia and all you see is brown and flat. Desert, blech. Then on the southeast coast there is this tiny spot of green. They shift over to actual video footage of this place and it's so beautiful. This place is "Bountiful" in the Book of Mormon. I can't imagine traveling for 8 YEARS through nothing but desert and bearing and raising children. It must have been horrible. I have so much more respect after seeing how awful that journey must have been. It makes me also have sympathy for Laman and Lemuel. They are looked at as such bad guys, but I think any husband would be frustrated seeing their poor wives struggling through the intense heat while 8 months pregnant. I also think any father would be frustrated when their tiny children are living through this desert lifestyle for years. I think they were definitely silly sometimes ( I mean, they saw an angel for heaven's sake) but I think the murmuring is a little more understandable now.
Pregnancy stuff now: I haven't taken my prenatal vitamins for almost 3 days now. They make me so sick! I am calling my dr in the morning to see if I have any other options. I still am nauseous throughout the day on and off, but I am able to talk myself out of actually throwing up. It's kind of weird, but I just tell myself over and over, "you're not going to throw up, you're fine, just breathe" and drink some ice water and I'm able to move past it for awhile. I'm pretty gaggy in the morning, so I think I'm going to stop taking calls until later in the morning. I talked to Meghan this morning and was gagging like crazy in between talking, but luckily she didn't hear :) When I stand up I can feel that my uterus is getting harder. Kind of fun. Looking forward to my appointment on Friday! 7 weeks tomorrow!