Worst. Day. EVER.

So yesterday was the absolute worst day. I can honestly say it was also the hardest day of my life. I have never been as sick as I was yesterday. Not even with my last pregnancy. I woke up, and spent the remainder of my day in the bathroom, lying in the hall/couch/bed, and trying to keep food and water down. No luck. Every single thing that went in my mouth came back up. I couldn't even keep small sips of water or ice chips down. It was miserable. I felt so helpless. The hardest part by far was having to keep Charlotte entertained and fed and changed. She was such a good girl for me though. She basically watched Blue's Clue's all day long. There was one point when I was lying down in the hall and she dragged over my big quilt for me. It made me bawl my eyes out. I have such a sweet little girl. I love her so much. George of course worked all day long. My DR was able to get me a new prescription that is only $5 so I was waiting for him to come home and get our money so he could get that medicine for me. Unfortunately he didn't get home until 9 and they close at 9. Again, I bawled my eyes out. Luckily, I remembered that I had some Dramamine in the car for car trips and it's safe to take that when you're pregnant. So, I took some, threw up again, then basically passed out. I was so exhausted. I kept waking up last night with stomach pains. I know it was just because they were so sore from heaving so much. So far this morning, I feel really OK. I've been able to keep down half a glass of watered down ginger ale, so hopefully after I get my meds today, it will be a much better day. Crossing my fingers. In the end, I am so glad it is today and that yesterday is over. I am grateful for a flexible baby girl that goes with the flow when mommy isn't well. I am grateful for a sweet husband that went to multiple stores last night to find ginger ale with actual ginger in it. I am so grateful that despite our financial tightness right now, we have exactly enough change for my medicine, milk and my ginger ale. We are truly blessed :)

This is for real

So, because I have Charlotte running all over the place all day, my mind rarely even is thinking about being pregnant. It really is on my mind first thing in the morning, then later at night. I've gotten some Zofran to help with being so sick and it's working (more or less) so, I just don't think about it all too much. Because of that, situations like yesterday really frustrate me. Here's what happened. It's happened for the past 2 weeks now. On Wed morning I take my medicine and feel good. Thurs I'm still feeling good so I don't take anything at all, so by Fri I get hit by the nausea/vomiting Mac truck. Not OK. After I threw up yesterday, I was so upset. Sometimes the reality of how LONG this process is just hits me hard, and it's overwhelming. I only have 6 more months, but it seriously is feeling like an eternity right now. I hate when my emotions get out of control and I lose it like I did yesterday. Crying and blubbering. Not attractive, that's for sure! I am so grateful for my sweet husband. He is so loving and patient with my emotional breakdowns.

Bad day :(

Yesterday was a really rough day. I woke up pretty sick and while I was throwing up, completely lost it (emotionally). George was headed out the door for work and I just got overwhelmed. I was so sick and still had to care for sweet Charlotte. I admit, I've been a bit of a slug of a mom lately. I just don't have as much energy and honestly, she's at an awkward age and I don't know how to entertain her inside. I can take her outside to the park or for a walk and that entertains her forever, but when it comes to inside stuff, I have no clue. ANYWAY, so I cried a bit after getting sick and tried to stomach some food. The rest of the day I stayed in my jammies and just laid around. George got off work at 5:30ish and needed his hair cut really bad. He's been begging me for almost 2 weeks now :( so I told him we were going to do it then before his class. After his haircut, Charlotte started whining really bad. I know it's because she was so bored from watching TV basically all day and just wanted a little more attention, but it sent me over the edge. Again, I lost it. Here George was going to be home for all of half an hour and was going to leave AGAIN for class for 3 hours. He went in our room to shower, or so I thought. He came out and put Charlotte's shoes on and said they were going to the park for a while and told me to just relax. Then I felt really bad. I really wasn't trying to get him to stay home, it had just been a bad day! He said to stop worrying and that there was really no point in going to class today, because she wasn't even there and the class would be shortened anyway. So he left with Charlotte for an hour!! It was so nice. I cleaned up the house, vacuumed (for the first time in probably, 2 weeks, so gross), took a bath and just relaxed. It was so nice. He came home and I started feeling sick again and of course, threw up... again. TMI- George is so nice when I'm sick. He comes in when I start really throwing up, rubs my back and holds back my hair, flushes the toilet when I'm done and just slips out before I even stand up again. He knows that I hate how I look and everything after, so he lets me just have a minute. But I totally appreciate him caring for me so much. I love him so much. I love Charlotte too, I just need a little more energy and patience. Today was an OK day. I was sick this morning, but got it together by mid morning. We went out for a walk as a family and that really helped me feel better. After lunch, I took a nap and didn't wake up sick!! I've been nauseous off and on the rest of the afternoon, but I'm better than yesterday. Hoping tomorrow is good.

I spilled....

Today I told my friend Shannon that I'm pregnant. She totally guessed it. The other day I had the stomach flu and was SOO sick and bailed on hanging out with her. While I really was sick, she totally called me out on being pregnant. It's kind of nice to have someone here though that knows and can sympathize with me. I hate being sick. I threw up a ton this morning. gag. I've realized that my prenatal vitamins are killing me. No matter what time I take them, or what brand I take, they make me SO sick. So, I'll ask my dr next week if there's something else I can try. I'm ready for a nap, hopefully I'll feel better later.