New Blog, New Baby

This for now is a personal journal. When we finally announce that we're pregnant (round 2) I will put this on the family blog too.
Right now I am 6 weeks pregnant. So far I am noticing only a couple similarities from my last pregnancy, but there are a lot of differences!!
Samesies- Sick (but not throwing up a ton, yet), tired
Differences- I really only feel especially nauseous in the evenings, I am SOO tired, but I know that's from having a little one to chase around all day, I am depressed :( Seriously, I just feel so BLAH all day. I hate that my body looks this way and that I didn't whip it into shape before getting pregnant again. I am anxious a lot. I feel sometimes that my world is spinning out of control and I can't do anything. It's enough to raise my blood pressure and make me dizzy! I have never felt this emotionally out of control. Another thing that is so bizarre and different from last pregnancy is that I have MAJOR cravings. Like, if I don't get the thing I'm craving ASAP, I WILL have a mental breakdown! GAH! I hate feeling this way. My first appointment with the doctor is a week from today and hopefully she can give me some advice on how to deal with the crazies in my brain :) Another thing I'm having a hard time with is emotionally grasping the fact that there will be 2 children to share the love amongst. I love Charlotte with all my heart. She is my little buddy. We do everything together and go everywhere together. I love all our lovely quiet moments together. I know it's possible, because people have multiple children all over the place, but I'm just having a hard time figuring out how I'll even possibly be able to love this new child of ours as much as I love Charlotte. And then I get stressed wondering how I'll be able to give Charlotte as much attention as she needs when there's a new little one? I hope she understands. I hope I can do this.
My appointment will also be an ultrasound appointment! YAY! I can't wait to see this little gummy bear. I honestly am very excited about this new addition. I'm anxious to see how the rest of the pregnancy goes. It took us a while to get pregnant, not that that means there will be complications, but it does concern me that it took so long (in my book). I have to write this out..... so back in April I had a lot of random complications with my body and after seeing a dr was told that I might only be able to have one more baby. She also said that it might take a while to get pregnant and stay pregnant, also that if I were to carry full term c-sections were the only thing possible for my body now. She said that with the complications going on, a hysterectomy was in my NEAR future, not menopausal future :( This scared me to death. After talking with friends and family I decided to get a second opinion, just to be sure. This next dr told me the COMPLETE OPPOSITE!! He said the problems were minor and normal for women and that having multiple children would be no issue. WHAT?! This was so hard for me. Who was I to believe? The told me totally different things! George and I prayed and prayed. We fasted and went to the temple seeking guidance as to what we were supposed to do. We knew that having more children was a must.... or at least to try. That was the answer we got. To start NOW. Not at the end of the year as planned, NOW. So we did. For 4 months. And now I'm pregnant :) I just hope that everything goes well. But honestly, I just am feeling blah.